Independence?

I got so many things I want to blog but in the deep cool weather right now I got my butt to the chair and switch on my laptop to blog this.

I just realise independence is like a something that stay at home mom have to build up  as soon as possible *for those without parents or parents in law or helpers - we tend to need to build this independence even more.

Why all the sudden this topic? I just realise every MON till FRI i would anxiously wait for my husband to arrive home.   If he is not back by 5.30pm there is little steam boiling in me. Then i would have to self calm myself "ohh he must be still stuck at work, with a meeting or at customer site etc etc... basically he is at work still... " no choice but to bugger up my mental mind to get what needs to be done. Bath toodler and cook dinner with a sticky glue toodler or a crying sulking toodler and then feed her dinner and then try to continue to cook my dinner .... etc i think i am repeating myself yeah you know what i mean... In many occasion I find myself losing my "cool" just because i feel the awesome pressure in time management vs a I WANT YOUR ATTENTION AND TO BE CARRIED toodler.

Why can't you just take things one at a time? Easy said than done. If you don't care what time your kid eats .. yeah it is much easier.  Till today I can't put myself to feed her toast or bread for dinner unless she reject all food then i would give bread a try. What put such pressure on yourself?? Well.. if she doesn't eat well for dinner, she would be waking up middle of the night or early morning stating she is hungry!! Good reason isnt it?

As for scedules,  If you don't care feeding your kid late would distrupt the whole "scedule, yeah it can be done.  Unless there is events or dinner out, I would try to put tigerbaby to bed by 830pm *for many it is actually a bit too late but I jsut can't put her to bed at 7ish and then have my dinner at 9pm!* Anyway as new parents, we need to find what works for us as many say. If I feed her a late dinner lets say at 7pm and by the time we finish ours and then get her ready for bed, it would be 9ish, so whats the big deal?? the side effects is SHE WOULD WAKE UP LATE in the morning and then you be serving lunch at around 1-2 pm and then nap time and then guess what? she be dinnering again at 7! Your whole routine just changed~~~ and you would need another day slowly adjusting back.

As first time mom, we are so hooked up with scedule, time table and whatever you want to call that. to be it is just PURE ROUTINE. I tried changing her routine a little just to "accomodate" myself more and guess what you get - a wailing sulking crying toodler.  Feeding and Napping are crucial to the development of a child. Some moms just have the luck to have kids that ALWAYS HUNGRY and eat whatever you give and go to sleep pretty much in 10 mins. However some don't. *i am one of them that doesn't as you all pretty much figured out by now!*

Ok so enough of yapping so whats your point? Back to the point. A bit drifted off. Independence. I had people asking me, why are you so dependent on your husband?? WTF! Have you ever handle a toodler  24/7 ? Have you ever try going on busses or "trams" with a pram? Husband are meant to be dependend on or else what the point they are call HUSBAND? You don't depend on your husband to buy your pads or tampons but you need them for emotional support and when it comes to having children, they need to help out physically. Unless they made tonnes of money and get nannies and maid for you or else don't give the crap that they are so tired after working whole day. *gee i think this topic has been discuss and debate many times but i am going to say it again anyway*

 So no matter how much independence a woman can have, there is always a breaking point when it comes to being a Stay At Home Mum with babies, toodlers and children.

Many SAHM may not understand what I am saying or may not see it from my view.  Thats fine.  You have a grab of your life. Good on you!

For those that get the crap of what I am talking about, you would by now learn the few steps to this: By hook or by crook, we just have to do it .  Even you are having a flu and having body aches, you just need to move your butt to give your kid a bath, move your butt to the kitchen to make meals and bear with any crying your toodler would have.  As some say, get over it girl! thats how it is.

Welcome to Motherhood - the dark side =)